Lesli from Superwoman.ca tagged me for this meme. Seeing as I’ve NEVER done a meme before, and seeing as I’m ALWAYS a Superwoman, how could I say no?
The meme is to list 7 random facts about myself. Hmmmm. Only 7? OK, I’m game.
1. I’m a messy gal, wrapped in the body of a neat freak. That’s right -- I’m Oscar Madison wrapped up to look like Felix Unger. Except for the penis.
2. I look really young for my age. Case in point: I met someone new today and when I told her that I was 42, she literally gasped. She said that she thought I was 25. She’s officially my new best friend.
3. I’m short. I say that I’m 5 feet “tall” but I’m not even sure that’s the case. I don’t let my doctor measure me because I don’t want to hear that I’m not.
4. I think that my scale is off by 5 pounds, showing too light, and I like it that way. Ignorance is bliss. They say that when you get married, you gain 15 pounds. Overachiever that I am, I gained 25.
5. I drink instant coffee because the taste of ‘real’ coffee is too strong for me. Except for Starbucks Caramel Macchiato.
6. I met my husband online. I don’t tell strangers that. I say that we met through a mutual friend.
7. Speaking of strangers, they talk to me all the time. At the grocery store, at the bank, everywhere. I guess I’m approachable. Odd, since I don’t like many people. ;-)
I’m not tagging anyone, but if you want to do this meme, go ahead. And leave me a comment, telling me your blog name, so that I can have a look.
7 Random Facts About this Superwoman [Superwoman.ca]
On May 3, I invited you -- my readers -- to ask me a question. Any question. After the success of NeilPuck’s Q & A (not to be confused with his T & A since he has no Ts), RinaMay has asked a question.
Her question:
In February, I received an invitation to a wedding which is taking place in late May. Yes, the bride was a little anxious to rope in the groom.I had decided not to attend...but I did buy a lovely greeting card, which I returned to the couple, along with the response card, saying I would not be attending.
In that envelope, there was a cheque, in the amount of $50.00. Bridezilla and Groomenstein cashed the cheque a week later.
To this date, I have not received a thank you, by way of e-mail, phone call, or card.
Is this proper etiquette? Am I too sensitive? My feathers are definitely ruffled!! I'm plucking mad!!
Should I just have a bowl of corn flakes, and forget the whole thing?
What say you?
My response is:
A number of things can be done in such a case, Rina:1. You can send them an invoice for $50, with a note stating that you did not receive the service for which you paid.
2. You can camp out on their lawn, calling out that they're blood-sucking thieves. This, however, requires that they reimburse you $75 -- $50 that they owe you, plus $25 for the extra hassle.
3. Call them, and in your best George Costanza voice, remind them that WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY!But in all seriousness, their lack of promptness can be attributed to a number of things as well:
1. Perhaps they don’t have their Thank You notes yet.
2. Maybe they’re waiting until after the wedding -- common practice -- to send all of their Thank You notes in one fell swoop.
3. They’re turds. Which I doubt, since they’re friends of yours.Don’t write them off, Rina. I’ve received Thank You notes almost a YEAR after the wedding took place.
Chalk it up to rudeness on your friends’ part, and perfect manners on yours.
(My equally soft heart, however, is leaning towards burning dog doodie on their doorstep.)
A lovely gentleman -- Neilpuck -- has asked a question in response to this.
His question:
What's the sure fire way to get a single bridesmaid to accompany me to the coat room for some tulle rustling fun?
And (drum roll please) my response is:
Lots and lots of champagne, my dear.But really, if you’re a charmer (which I’ve no doubt you are) and if the SB (single bridesmaid) is open to such no-strings tickles and teases, then your overwhelming charisma should do the trick.
However, if the SB is looking for a Relationship (yes, that required a capital R) so that she can be the next one to walk down the aisle, then you’re SOL, Mr. Puck.
A third possibility is that the Relationship-seeking SB, given enough champagne, won’t care about the big R and will just be in search of the big O.
It’s all a crap-shoot is what I’m saying. Good luck and let us know how it went!
I thought this would be fun, leaving the floor open to you to ask questions. If your question is chosen, I will create a new blog entry with the answer. What kind of questions? Any kind!
* Want to know how much it costs to reset the diamond in your engagement ring? I’ll look into it.
* Want to know the most popular flavor of wedding cake? I’ll check it out. (Taste test!)
* Want to know if Pamela Anderson is going to marry again? I’ll take a wild guess. (How could I possibly know that? But if you want my opinion, I’ll be glad to give it to you.)
* Want to know what Bar Rafaeli looks like without makeup? I can guess at that right now. She probably looks a million times better than I do …with makeup!
So, go ahead. Ask me a question. (Write it in the comments, please.) And then stay tuned for the answer.
There’s such a big hoopla about what Katie Holmes will be wearing on her wedding day, and I just realized: Who cares? It’s going to be white. It’s going to be long. There’s probably going to be a veil and a train. But not EVERYONE is going to like it -- that’s a fact.
So why don’t we focus on what Tom Cruise is going to wear instead? You’re thinking, “But that’s so easy. It’s going to be a black tux. Woopdeedoo!” Well, how about twisting it up a bit.
How about if Tom wears this?
Tom would look so puuuurdy!
Or this?
He has the boobs to pull it off!
Or what about this?
He strikes me as the type to love the Victorian thang.
Isn’t this way more fun?
The gift I’ll give him if he wears one of the ones I’ve selected: The bouquet. And I’ll even throw in the preserving.
Although it’s the bride’s big day, the groom DOES play a huge part, dontchaknow? So it’s nice when he’s involved in the wedding planning …and calming down the Mrs.-to-be.
"The easiest way to keep the wife happy was to take care of cooking, keeping my house abnormally clean, and to take her out as often as I could to decompress over a few beverages and Ping-Pong at our local brewery."
And if by “a few beverages and Ping-Pong at our local brewery” he means “Valium and cheesecake followed by a shopping spree,” then yeah!
The gift we should give our grooms: Big wet kisses! MWAH!!!
Real Grooms Tell All [MSN Lifestyle]
I’m not talking about your partner’s skin colour. I’m talking about your partner’s favourite colour.
Most of us have a favorite color. Maybe you’re drawn to sky blue because it makes your eyes stand out or you find forest green particularly comforting. Whatever the case, your preferred hue can reveal a lot about what makes you tick. And the same holds true for the people you date.
My husband’s favourite colour is blue.
But my favourite colour depends on:
• my mood
• the context (are we talking about a pair of pants or the walls in the dining room?)
• the weather
• about a million other things
What does this mean? And what if my favourite colour (of the moment) and my husband’s, when mixed, creates a hideous shade of puce? (That’s one letter off from ‘puke’ for a reason, my friends.) Does it mean that we’ll have a miserable life together? Probably not …because my favourite colour will change tomorrow. It’s a woman’s right, you know…
I’m giving myself a gift: This. Because I think it’s neat. And I can see when my hubby and I will match. And I can decide what colour we're painting the dining room walls next time.
Color me loveable [MSN Dating & Personals]
Come on, Katie, pop that TomKat!
Come on, Tom, make an honest woman out of Katie!
Come on, Avril, marry Deryck this year!
Come on, Nicole and Keith, tie the knot this month!
Come on, Brad and Angelina, get married and have the kid! Or vice versa! Whatever!
Gwyneth didn’t make me wait. Why must YOU all make me wait?!?!?
The gift I’m giving each and every one of them: My eternal gratitude if any/all of them get up off their butts and MAKE THINGS HAPPEN!
Talk about your cold feet. Some people are just scaredy-cats, huh?
Check out the video. Special emphasis on fainting grooms. Wusses.
Video [Google]
Whoa! This is some serious diamond. And by serious, I mean BIG. And by diamond, I mean Bling-Bling-Bling, we have a winner.
Set in platinum, it's valued at approximately $150,000.00.The gift that I’m giving her when she gets married: This cleaner to keep the bling blindingly shiny.
Nicollette’s E-Bling [Glitterati]
I’ll proudly admit that I watch Dr. Phil’s show. And I’ll, uh, proudly admit that I enjoy it. Yeah, OK, so you’re a better person than I am. Whatever.
Anyhoo, Dr. Phillip McGraw (yeah, he’s not just “sexy Doc P” to everyone)…
…spoke about the importance of establishing a respectful relationship right off the bat, how early problems presage later conflicts, and how to mend a marriage that has gone astray.I know you can’t read the article in his sexy (ooooh, there’s that word again) drawl, but he still says things that make sense. Sexy sense. Sorry. I can’t help it.
Real Secrets to a Happy Marriage [MSN Lifestyle]
Remember Jennifer Wilbanks’ fifteen minutes of fame? Well, the clock keeps on ticking for her. And now you’re saying: Who? Who’s Jennifer Wilbanks? Oh, come on, you can’t have such a bad memory. I talked about her here. And here. And even here.
And now…
Eleven dollars won't just get you 60 minutes of Gladiators hockey Sunday at Gwinnett Arena.I wonder if this is embarrassing for old Jen. If so, it seems that she can run but she can’t hide.
If you're among the first 1,000 fans to the arena, a ticket will also earn you a wobbly piece of Gwinnett history — a Runaway Bride bobblehead doll.
Glads expect run on bride bobbleheads [ajc.com]
Better get your knee guards, ladies, the tides have turned. It seems that it’s alright for US to propose to THEM. You know what that means, huh? That’s right. No more waiting until HE is ready. You’ll get married when YOU are ready! (Uhhh, if he says yes, that is.)
This is relatively uncharted territory, so there are no pesky rules or protocols to follow, unless you want to ask his mom for permission!Want some hints on planning your proposal? Read on, otherwise it could be more than your bended knee that could be hurting.
A Girl’s Guide to Proposing [MSN Lifestyles]
Rumor: Brad, Angelina, Maddox, and Zahara are moving to Paris.
Rumor: Brad, Angelina, Maddox, and Zahara are looking for a place to live in the countryside of France.
Rumor: Brad and Angelina are engaged.
Fact: They look like they’re having a great time.
Fact: Brad and Angelina make a gorgeous couple.
Question: So WHEN ARE THEY getting married?
Brangelina in Paris [Saving Face]
Brangelina Rumor Rundown [MSN Gossip]
With all the actors, models, and rock stars walking down the aisle last year, I can’t blame you for not remembering who got married. So maybe you want a list so that you don’t forget to send out anniversary cards. Or maybe not. Maybe you just want a recap. Or a nightcap. Whichever. Here’s the list.
The really fun part about reading about who got married last year: making your own sub-list of who’s no longer together. Let the fun begin!
Celebrity Weddings [People]
OK, this is not great Valentine’s Day fare, and I like reality TV as much as anyone else, but this gouging for the all-mighty US dollar is taking it one step too far, even for me. American Idol is one thing -- it’s fun -- and Amazing Race is amazingly entertaining, but this is just weird. Even for Shar Jackson (ex Mrs. Kevin Federline), Marla Maples (The Donald’s ex), and Angie Everhart (double-ex of Ashley Hamilton and Sylvester Stallone).
What Shar, Marla and Angie have in common is they all learned how to get on with their lives, and they are going to turn that skill into helping others do the same on the upcoming ABC reality series, "Ex-Wives Club." It is an inspirational show featuring men and women who have been recently separated or divorced, who are having a hard time getting it all together. The three women are the support team to help the newly single reclaim their lives.The support team to help the newly single reclaim their lives? I figure any normal woman would (1) cry, (2) be angry for a while, and then (3) dust themselves off and get on with it. There! That’s my 2 cents, instead of my $75K per episode.
Hollywood’s Ex-Wives Club [ETonline.com Television]
Don’t want to look like a loser because you don’t have a lot of people to invite to your own wedding? Have many of your friends said that they have to rearrange their sock drawers on the evening of your wedding? No need to fear. You can hire people to come to your wedding and look like your guests!
An Indian firm which rents out wedding guests says business is booming. The company caters for families who fear they will fall short of guests at weddings.Worried that the hired help will embarrass you? No need to fret:
The guests dance and try to impress with their etiquette without letting anyone know they are being paid for it. Proprietor M I Syed briefs his staff about the groom, the bride and their families before the wedding to avoid a faux pas.See, you’re not such a loser now, are you? [Insert eye roll here.]
Wedding guests for hire [Ananova]
A friend of mine turned me onto this site which totally cracked me up. It’s like the Jerry Springer show or a car accident -- people are telling the most awful embarrassing stories, but you have to stop and watch (read).
Not only did she ask for money in the invitations, she had a "Casino Manager" at the door of the reception charging entrance fees! There was also a "wishing well" made up to look like a slot machine, and instead of the standard forks clinking on the glass to get the bride and groom to kiss, one had to shoot "Craps" with a $5 minimum!
I worked at a print shop and a frantic bride came in with her very expensive wedding invitations which she had ordered from a different printer out of state, paid a fortune for, and waited for weeks to arrive. Imagine her horror when she read, "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe invite you to the wedding of their daughter, Jane Ann, on 5 June..." They forgot to mention who Jane Ann was marrying! The printers hadn't made a mistake, she had not submitted her fiancé's name on the order. In a move that made bad matters worse in my opinion, instead of dumping the beautiful invitations and order plainer correct ones that could be printed quickly, she had business cards printed to insert. They said "The name of the groom is John Smith."Hours and hours of reading pleasure. Trust me. Thankfully you and I are perfect. Trust me on that too.
Wedding Etiquette [Etiquette Hell]
It happens. Crap happens. Even if the worst doesn’t happen, the day is not going to go perfectly -- nothing does. Just cross your fingers (and your toes …and even your eyes) and hope for the best.
While my new husband and I were taking pictures following the ceremony, unbeknownst to us our cocktail hour was being evacuated for a fire!
Everything was going fine until she accidentally stabbed her finger with the needle, spilling blood on my gown!
We gave our DJ a do-not-play list, but apparently it wasn't inclusive enough. He played James Brown's 'Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine' during our reception dinner!What these disasters all have in common is the fact that these women wrote -- and laughed -- about it later. So don’t worry if your wedding day doesn’t go as perfectly as you’d hoped. In the words of my 2-year old nephew when he made his third poo of the day: “It’s all good.”
I do disasters [MSN Women & The Knot]
Loved LEGO as a kid? You can also love LEGO as a bride. Yup, someone’s finally done it -- made a wedding cake out of LEGO.
I was prompted to finally build a LEGO wedding cake mainly because I got a surprisingly high number of inquiries about LEGO wedding-themed items during the past year.Really!?!?!?? At first I thought it sounded ridiculous. But as I kept reading, I thought, “Wow, this is pretty cool.”
The top tier (the smallest one), has a bride and groom mini-figure display and does not deconstruct... it would be a single piece that would be kept by the newlyweds.Even though my guy would probably WANT to deconstruct the figure if I opted for a plastic cake, he COULDN’T. Hehehehe. Really, though, that’s an original keepsake to have. And it solves the problem of freezing a piece for your first year anniversary!
The idea is that the bottom two tiers of the cake are comprised of 124 slices of LEGO cake. These slices, while obviously not edible, could be distributed to guests of the bride and groom as souvenirs... everyone would get their own little LEGO memento of the happy day.Hey, that eliminates the need to give party favours to the guests! Perfect. Although, it does create a problem of no edible cake. “Let them eat LEGO cake?”
LEGO wedding cake [ericharshbarger.org]
We’re engaged, not dead. Just because we’re engaged doesn’t mean that we can’t continue to ogle hot celebrities. I mean, really, if my guy thinks that my lust for Andy Garcia is ever going to amount to anything (I wish!), he’s not as brilliant as I thought he was. And if he thinks that my daydreams are going to stop after we’re married, well, then he’s just plain stupid.
You may have always wondered which celebrity you would be best matched up with when it comes down to love! Now you can find out just by answering a few questions!I tried another “test” before this one, and it matched me with, among others, Leif Garrett. Know him? 70’s “singer”? Anyway, I had to find another test. This one was better. This one said my best match was Kevin Spacey. I can’t say I agree (after all, Kevin Spacey is not Andy Garcia …or George Clooney …or Brad Pitt), but it was better than a guy named Leif.
Take the test. See who your celebrity love match is. And answer question #10 honestly, girly.
Celebrity Love Match [JokesAndHumor.com]
It’s aliiiiive!!! The movie is going live! Stars of the movie, Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, have too many film commitments to appear in the play, and the stage version will feature different music, still…
[the] musical will stick to the plot of the PG-13 film, which followed aspiring singer-songwriter Robbie Hart, who lives in his grandmother's basement in New Jersey, on a quest to get married.The play will have its world premiere at Seattle's 5th Avenue Theatre on Jan. 31, 2006. Then, after a warm-up run, the show is planned to begin previews on Broadway in March 2006 followed by an official April opening.
Yeah, we’re gonna party like it’s 1985. Don’t stop believin’!
Broadway Melody for "Wedding Singer" [Yahoo!]
“Hello. My name is D. the Bloggerchick.”
“HELLO D!”
“I’m a reality TV show junkie.”
“WELCOME!”
“I’ve even watched Newlyweds.”
[mumbling] “What’s that?”
“The show with Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey.”
“You may need more help than we can provide.”
“I’ve only watched it a handful of times.”
“Still… We’re not equipped.”
I gather my jacket and purse (filled with Dessert Beauty products from Sephora) and head out. They don’t want to help me. I don’t want to be helped. I have the just-released (June 7) DVD set of seasons 2 and 3 at home. I’m going to be one of them soon. A Newlywed. [Sigh]
Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica [Amazon.ca]
Remember when you were single and you’d hear couples calling each other those cutesy lovey-dovey names? Remember wanting to barf? Well, we’re making other people want to barf now. Ain’t love grand?
Don’t you dare deny it! You do so have a shmoopsy-woopsy name for your pookie. Oh yes, you do!
I’ll fess up -- my guy and I have several cutesy-pie names for each other. For instance, when I started calling him Pookiepie instead of just plain old Pookie (I did that because I was also calling my aunt and uncle’s cat Pookie instead of his real name, and that just didn’t seem right anymore), he started calling me Pookettepie. And that’s just the start. I’m too embarrassed to give you the list of what we call each other. Suffice to say, we’re still in the pre-honeymoon phase.
How to speak lovey-dovey [MSN Dating & Personals]
Online dating is one thing. Online engagements are another. Especially when the blushing bride doesn’t even exist. How would you ever consummate the marriage?
A Canadian man in love with an imaginary Russian woman has helped Yekaterinburg police arrest a couple behind an Internet scam that cheated love-struck foreigners out of thousands of dollars.
Hey, listen, I’m not knocking internet dating. It’s a great way to meet people, especially if you have a busy career and aren’t a fan of the bar scene. But I don’t believe that anyone can really be in love without having met, face to face in the flesh. And to become engaged without having met? Nonsense. And, possibly, a hop, skip, and jump into bankruptcy.
Be wary of anything that seems too good to be true. Typically, it is.
Canadian Helps To Bust False Bride Scam [The St. Petersburg Times]
Remember Larry Star? He’s the tattooed dude who, in April 2004, put photos of himself decked out in his ex-wife’s wedding dress, along with some hilariously bitter copy, into an eBay ad “hoping to get enough money” from the sale of the dress “for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer.” The ad, which got a record of about 11 million hits (according to some sources, it was only 6 million, but hey, that’s still a lot of gawking), is no longer online -- eBay retires ads 30 days after the auction is complete, I think -- but you can see it here. He got $3,850 for the wedding dress, several marriage proposals (ironic, huh?), and has appeared on numerous TV talk shows. Why am I writing about this more than a year after the fact? Because, even though much of what he wrote in his auction ad wasn’t true, it’s still damn-tootin’ funny.
Fact is, wedding-dress guy's eBay pitch includes some fiction [The Seattle Times]
Oh oh oh oh oh! Did you ever see this movie? It’s iiiiinnnnnnncredible! Rent it. Now. Run, don’t walk, to your video store. It’ll be worth the shin pain. Trust me.
A classic fairy tale, with swordplay, giants, an evil prince, a beautiful princess, and yes, some kissing (as read by a kindly grandfather).This 1987 flick stars a whole whack of celebrities. Some you’ll recognize quickly, some you’ll say ‘Oh yeah!’ when you read the credits.
I saw this movie shortly after it came out and I loved it. It’s pure fantasy. And what better way to spend 98 minutes in the midst of chaos?
The Princess Bride [IMDb.com]
The past 12 months have been filled with plenty of A-list celebrities saying, "I do."
Excuuuuuuuse me?! You and I are A-list too. Maybe we’re not celebrities, but who wants their life splattered on tabloids anyway?
Mogul and reality star Donald [Trump], 58, and his model wife Melania, 34, tied the knot on January 22.One question: Who did his hair for the wedding?
Everyone from Howard Stern to Alec Baldwin attended the nuptials of legendary rocker Billy Joel, 55, and his 23-year-old bride Katie Lee.One question: Who wants that much guest hair?
Notice how I’m not commenting on the age difference in both cases? There’s too much to say, and there’s nothing to say.
Hollywood I Do’s [Entertainment Tonight / Yahoo!]
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