JUN
23

Joke: Broken Engagement

laugh.jpgI have been unable to sleep since I halted your engagement to my daughter. Will you forgive and forget?

I was much too sensitive about your Mohawk, tattoo and pierced nose. I now realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never held a job.

I am also very sure that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park. Sure my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on full scholarship. After all, you can't learn everything about life from books.

I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter.

Sincerely,
Your future father-in-law.

P.S. Congratulations on winning the lottery!

Clean Jokes for a Dirty World [Basic Jokes]

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JUN
08

Joke: Charles Loves Camilla

livelovelaugh.gifBefore you read this:
1) He married her.
2) I thought she looked wonderful on her wedding day.

Prince Charles was driving around the Windsor Castle estate when he accidentally ran over his mother's favourite corgi, crushing it to a pulp. He got out of his Range Rover and sat down on the grass, totally distraught. The whole world was against him anyway, and now his mother would go ballistic. Suddenly, he noticed an old oil lamp half buried in the ground. He dug it up, started cleaning it up, and immediately a genie appeared.

"You have freed me from thousands of years of imprisonment," said the genie. "As a reward, I shall grant you one wish."

"Well," said the Prince, "I have all the material things I need, but let me show you this dog." They walk over to the splattered remains of the dog. "Do you think you could bring this dog back to life for me?" the Prince asked.

The genie carefully looked at the remains and shook his head. "This body is too far gone for even me to bring it back to life. Is there something else you would like?"

The Prince thought for a minute, reached into his pocket and pulled out two photos. "I was married to this beautiful woman called Diana," said Charles, showing the genie the first photo. "But now I love this woman named Camilla," and he showed the second photo to the genie. "You can see that Camilla isn't beautiful at all, so do you think you can make Camilla as beautiful as Diana?"

The genie studied the two photographs and, after a few minutes, said, "Let's have another look at that dog."

Charles and Camilla [ukexpert.co.uk]

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