Engagements.ca, celeb weddings and engagements

JUL

Prediction #10: Lindsay Lohan and Jack Daniels

It’s been a long time since I made a prediction and this one seems destined to come true even though Jack Daniels is a drink, not a man.

Yes. That’s right. I predict that Lindsay Lohan will marry a bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey.

‘Nuff said. Unless you want to read about what Lindsay is up to today, after her long bout with denial.

Lindsay Lohan Arrested for DUI, Drugs [ABC News]

JAN

Prediction #9: Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump

Remember when you were 7 years old and the little boy who sat behind you in homeroom would pull your pigtails? He liked you. And I think that’s what’s going on with Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump. He’s pulling her pigtails and she’s saying something like “Boys are gross, especially you, you big comb over freak!”

There’s a fine line between love and hate, and although they profess to be hating each other, I think that deep down inside they’re in love with each other.

I know that Rosie’s gay. I know that The Donald is married. But that means nothing. A team switch and a divorce will fix that right up.

I’m predicting these two closet lovebirds are going to fly off -- together -- for one giant love fest. Mark my words. Stranger things have happened.

Rosie Slams Trump, The Donald Fires Back [People magazine]

NOV

Prediction #8: Michael Richards (aka Kramer) and O.J. Simpson

You thought Michael Richards was funny, didn’t you? So did I. Well, he was funny as Kramer on Seinfeld, but Michael Richards -- the “man” -- isn’t quite so hilarious.

You must have heard about this tirade. Yeah, he apologized. So what? He said it. It’s out there.

So, my prediction is that he will (well, should) hook up with O.J. Simpson. Two bad apples who deserve each other. (What? You don’t know about the O.J. Simpson book and TV story, "If I Did It" ? Here you go for that! Yeah, they’re both cancelled but, again, so what? He did it. It’s out there.)

Not only would Michael Richards’ hookup with O.J. Simpson be revenge against his racist ways, it would also be a pre-emptive defense on his, no doubt, homophobic beliefs. I’m just guessing on that, but so be it.

I predict (hope) this hookup happens. Giddyup!

Oh. And as far as gifts are concerned: No soup for you!

Credits [SFGate.com, National Post, FOX News]

NOV

Predictions #6 and #7: Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake (version 2.0) and Kevin Federline and Lindsay Lohan

These predictions are based on absolutely nothing except for the fickleness of celebrity pairings.

Prediction #6
I predict that Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz will break up and he will follow his heart back to Britney Spears. How long it’ll last, not even the crystal ball knows.

Prediction #7
I also predict that Kevin Federline will do the typical one-week celebrity hook-up thing with Lindsay Lohan. He’ll pursue her. He’ll dump her. She’ll cry. But then she’ll move on. He’ll also move on …to a trailer somewhere in Idaho.

PS. The countdown (5 days) is on until the Katie Holmes / Tom Cruise wedding. The crystal ball has no prediction on that. I wonder if that’s an ominous sign…?

OCT

Prediction #6: Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal

farrah%20and%20ryan.jpg Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O’Neal share a lot:

A 17-year relationship, albeit a rough one that ended in 1997.

A 21-year old son, Redmond, albeit an addicted one.

Cancer, albeit something that Farrah can survive, as Ryan did.

Fawcett, 59, who is reportedly suffering from intestinal cancer, has moved out of the Beverly Hills, Calif., home she's been living in since their split and is now bunking at O'Neal's Malibu, Calif., digs.
O'Neal, who admitted to People [magazine] last year that he'd asked Fawcett to marry him "a million times" but she always turned him down, insists, "She's here at my house now and that's where she will stay."

There’s nothing like tragedy to bring people together again. Hopefully good health will keep them together. (Yes, I’m being sappy today. No, I don’t particularly like either Farrah or Ryan. But I feel for them.)

The gift I’m giving them: Good health. Simply that.

Ryan: I’ll Be There For Farrah [MSN Movies]

JUL

Prediction #5: Survivor Richard Hatch and Someone in the Big House

Another no-brainer prediction. Richard Hatch, the naked Survivor, is bound to find his soul mate soon, now that he’s gone to prison for failing to pay taxes on his $1 million dollar win on the show.

Hatch would prefer to serve his sentence near family in Rhode Island or in Florida, said his lawyer, Michael Minns. "He should be in a camp," said Hatch's attorney, Michael Minns. "The camps are the most comfortable of the uncomfortable. They are still jails, but they get to see the sky and be outside. It's bad for Richard, who is an outdoor person."

Key bit of information there! Richard is an outdoor person! That means only the burliest of burly should apply? Grizzly Adams, where art thou?

The gift I’m giving if he finds a love match in prison: This book. Hopefully he’ll learn from his mistake -- and from this book -- so that he can stay out of prison and live happily ever after with his open-air spouse.

‘Survivor’ winner Richard Hatch sent to Oklahoma prison [Boston Globe]

JUL

Prediction #4: Jake and Natalie

This one may be a little too easy but I do predict that Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman will get engaged. Like soon!

You want reasons?

1. They’re both gorgeous.
2. They’ve been friends for years, and they say there’s no better foundation for a romantic relationship than to start off as friends. I happen to disagree, but that’s not really the point.
3. They’re both gorgeous.

"He was very attentive to her and seemed to be hanging on every word she said."

4. “Hanging on every word” is practically a ring around her finger.

The gift I’m giving them: A Happy Hopper because it’s almost as adorable as they are.

Jake & Natalie: Reunited [Perez Hilton]

JUL

Prediction #3: Taylor Hicks and Childhood Crush

Oh yeah. I can so clearly see this coming. Let me set the stage first: Taylor Hicks, American Idol extraordinaire, talked about his childhood crush. And she responded.

The "American Idol" winner told People in a recent interview that he never forgot his first crush: "I was in the second grade; she was in the sixth." He added that ever since, he's always liked older women. After reading the article, the woman, Christy Lee Worsham, called People. She's now married, and was surprised she had made such an impact on Hicks. "He was such a fun kid," Worsham, 32, said. "I'm married. But I'd like to reconnect. He was like a brother to me."

“Like a brother to me” my tush. I’m predicting that she dumps her husband and goes for the bucks. I mean, goes for Hicks.

The gift I’m giving when this crashes and burns: Rina. I’m standing by with my original gift, Taylor.

Childhood crush responds to Taylor Hicks [The Mercury News]

MAY

Prediction #2: Me and George Clooney

Nobody is daring to give birth or get engaged while everyone is still riding the Brangelina Birth high. So I figured this would be a good time to give you prediction #2. Prediction #1 was this and it really could happen.

Prediction #2 is that I will marry George Clooney.

Naysayers will tell you that:
1. I’m already married. True.
2. George is a confirmed bachelor. Maybe true.
3. I am unlikely to ever MEET George, let alone marry him. Probably true.

But unlike naysayers, I like to live in a little fantasy world sometimes, so I’m sticking to my prediction.

If this prediction comes true, I’ll give myself a gift: George is gift enough, thanks.

MAY

Prediction #1: Denise Richards and Richie Sambora

While we’re waiting for Angelina Jolie to pop a Pitt and since so many couples are slow to engage (although quick to divorce), I thought I’d make a predication in my idle time.

I predict that Richie Sambora (of Heather Locklear fame) and Denise Richards (of Charlie Sheen infamy) will soon get engaged. I’m not saying that they’ll get married or stay married; I’m just saying that they will get engaged.

Now, wouldn’t it be cool if the earth flipped on its axis and men took the woman’s last name? Then he would be Richie Richards. Just sayin’.

If this prediction comes true, I’ll buy myself a gift. This, so that I can make even more predictions!

Denise Richards & Richie Sambora Hook Up [People]

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